Hello! I’m back.
I am so sorry for the long departure. It was certainly not my intention, but apparently I can not do it all. It has not been unexpected, but it has still been a very humbling experience recognising my limits. I can’t study, work, be a mum and try to lead a simple, nourished and progressively self-sufficient life. Others might, and good on them, I admire their stamina. For me, it’s just not sustainable. It’s only been 4 months of organised chaos and my brain is fried, like Beaker from the Muppets.
That time has not been without its moments. I’ve spent time in the garden, repairing a poorly constructed (of my own making) watering system, and getting things ready for planting in earnest, celebrated my eldest son’s 25th birthday (I had to count back the years to confirm that – it seems so unbelievable), we’ve enjoyed the explosion of flowers here at this time of year and the intense blue skies, I have baked, and we’ve walked. But I look forward to those moments becoming more of the norm again.
I submitted my last assignment for the semester on Friday night, so now I have reclaimed 2 days of the week that I can hopefully devote to the things I love. The garden, baking, working on projects that add value to our lives, helping out at the kids school (because one day they just won’t want me doing that, and for now they do, so I will hold on to these precious fleeting years while I have them), preparing for bees and ducks, being in this space, walking a few hills, moving a bit slower.
Today was just glorious. I woke with no fixed demands. I saw a friend, because that is really important, more than you might realise sometimes, to have and nurture friendships that feed your soul, lift your spirits, share something of yourself that isn’t wife, mother etc. I baked 3 loaves of bread using Rhonda Hetzel’s recipe for wholemeal bread – fantastic texture, will definitely be using this recipe again. I also baked these cardamom and cinnamon rolls for afternoon tea – divine! I omitted the baking soda and bicarb, as I felt that kneading the yeasted dough provided all the lift needed. I watered lawns and the veggie garden, ordered some more seeds, walked the dog to pick the kids up from school. Nothing remarkable about my day at all, which is what made it so awesome!
I am so happy to be back in this space, and look forward to spending a bit more time here, taking more photos, taking a little more time to think out my thoughts and put them down here in word. Time is such a precious thing. I value being able to spend my time productively, but I want to savour it too.